the family bed

Here's a thought from the book I'm just finishing, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Dr. Bruce D. Perry:

"Further, when humans evolved, infants didn’t have their own room—they didn’t even have their own bed. They were usually never more than a few feet away from an adult or sibling at any time and most often were being held. Many of the sleeping and crying problems seen in infancy today are likely caused by the fact that a human infant left alone and out of sight distance of adults for almost the entire evolutionary history of humankind would have been facing near-certain death. It’s hardly surprising that babies find being left alone to sleep distressing. In fact, what’s startling (and what reflects the adaptability of the human brain) is how quickly so many get used to it.

"We need to educate people about the needs of infants and create better ways of addressing them. We need to have an infant- and child-literate society, where everyone who has or works with children knows what to expect. For example, if an infant doesn’t cry at all...it’s just as much of a cause for concern as if he cries too much. Becoming more aware of age-appropriate behavior will ensure that, when necessary, children can get help as soon as possible."

I don't agree that we just evolved to be this way, but I do agree that infants do need to be held close to their caregivers for the sake of their brains, bodies, and even souls. A non-stressed brain is a brain that can focus on the important tasks of organizing, receiving and processing information, and developing into a healthy, whole brain so that the child--and later adult--can be healthy and whole, too.