M-O-M

David loves the letters on our fridge door. He's forgotten that they sing songs if you put them in the matching contraption. Sorting, naming, and rearranging are his favorite letter pastimes. Tonight, he searched through and found some random letters and announced they were M, O, M.

"M - O - M!  M - O - M!" he sang.

I asked, "What does M, O, M spell?" knowing he can spell the names of his family members.

"Jesus!" was his happy reply and he sped off to another activity.

He's right. I mean, he's wrong, but he's right.

I am the voice of Jesus to this child. This child who adamantly denies that he's ever done anything wrong. I am the hands of Jesus to this child. This child who used to be so "tough" and now cries and whines and just generally needs all of the time. I am the love of Jesus to this child. This child who is going to teach me more about mothering (I just know it) then my other two children combined. I am the truth of Jesus to this child. This child who is going to need plenty of correction, prayer, and caution from his parents.

Despite the fact that I don't always love mothering (for it is messy and inconvenient and exhausting every day), it is a high and holy calling.

A calling I asked for. And mourned when it was delayed with our miscarriage. And many times have grieved and mourned for friends when they cannot seem to achieve this sticky spiritual calling as they desire.

I sometimes suck at mothering. I've never actually considered listing my kids on craigslist but I have considered considering it. I usually forget that a house covered in completed puzzles and stacks of books and hundreds of cut-up paper projects and dirty shoes means my happy family lives here. I correct my kids too much and I don't smile at them as often as I should. I get moody and distracted when they're watching. Sadly, some days I'm portraying too much M - O - M and not so much Jesus.

But I'm growing. Trying to consider what agape love is and how it applies to mothering. Knowing that staying connected to the vine is the only way I can continue to grow and bear much fruit--fruit in their lives especially.


[P.S. Dads are just as important--or probably more important for displaying God to their children. My kids are blessed to have their Daddy!]

Then this would be our real life

Our resident theologian is also known for scribbling, screeching, and she's just beginning to read a few words. But boy, oh boy, that girl does put serious thought into every topic of discussion, each bit of 1st grade history she overhears, and every single story read to her.

I wish I had a recording of all her insights. Rarely, I run to write down what she's just told me. Tonight our dinner conversation went like this--in part--there's no way I could remember all of her verbal processing.

Hava:  It’s better to cry than die. Why?

Me:  Maybe because when you die it’s the end of your life. And if you cry, it’s not the end of your life.

Hava:   Dying isn’t the end of your life. After you die you have a new life in heaven.

Me:   That’s true. Heaven is like your real life.

Hava:   If Adam and Eve hadn’t sinned, then this would be our real life. (pause) What’s sin?

Me:  Doing or thinking or saying something different from what God wants.

Hava:  I asked God in my quiet time today to help me not do bad things anymore.

Me:   That’s a good prayer to pray.

I get this kind of talk all stinkin' day long, every day of the week. Her latest interest is making up poems and songs. Yesterday's song went "I love to adore, I love to adore, I love to adore Christ the Lord" and today's poem was "Put my little penny pack on my teeny tiny back" (interpretation is left to the audience, apparently).

Hava the five-year-old is quite a delight to get to know. I'm enjoying relating to her now that she is a big girl and really enjoying seeing the world unfold before her watchful eyes.

Growing

Hello, it's been a while and it's so nice to see you again. (-:

Yesterday, the kids went swimming for probably the last time this year. The water is cold. But they were happy to be splashing around!

While they swam, I got down on my hands and knees to see if I could find any blades of freshly planted winter grass. I did find a couple short blades...certainly not a lush lawn. I sighed and hoped we would have at least some soft grass for the kids to play in during our beautiful fall and winter months.

Today I awoke to find a yard full of green. While I slept, the lawn appeared. It's growing! Immediately I remembered a speaker from the homeschool convention who said "No one plants a lemon tree and looks for lemons two months later. Fruit trees take years to produce." I'm not growing lemons--and I'm only slightly interested in growing grass--but I am growing people. Sometimes I see buds on their trees. Other times, blossoms. And I'm confident fruit will ripen for harvest later. How helpful to remember that all my repetitive, sometimes tedious, never-ending work in my orchard will not produce fruit for today. No, the harvest will be enjoyed for many years to come if I care for my little people well today. And tomorrow.

When I get a whiff of fresh blossom scent, I'm hopeful. One day I'll wake up and see that while I was busy working and waiting, my children were developing under the surface. The Master Gardener is at work, if only I will work under His expert care myself and entrust my garden to His touch.

Spring 2012 recap

Hello summer! At least hello summer here in Phoenix--we're swimming and have ended all our school-year activities (not counting school itself). If it's not summer where you are, I'm sure the rain is just as nice as a refreshing swim.

The end of March was a momentous event that I can only hope you have had the privilege of attending--an Underwear Party!

We wore clothes.

But the party was all about little boy underwear, on a little boy who took a major step toward big boyhood.

Hooray!

There were gifts,

games,

marshmallow treats with chocolate,

and kids dancing in their underwear (not pictured, for your sake--and because I sometimes have creepers on the blog).

Then came Easter:

John had breakfast out with Dad to celebrate completing his first Awana Sparks book as well as the twenty-one review sections.

The first week of May we spent six relaxing days on a secluded beach with thirty family members to celebrate my grandparents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. (That's a lot of numbers!)

View from the back porch:

This... is Beach Olympics:

Sanfords + clan:

Us 5:

My mom and dad with their grandkids:

The adult siblings. We had so much fun together before, during, and after our trip!

Our family is so boring and rigid; why do we go on vacation with them??

Not!

I'm still feeling rejuvenated from our time away. I can't always say that after a vacation with small children but shelling, swimming, laughing, playing games, and going barefoot in the sand all week was amazing. Equally amazing was not cleaning, cooking, or driving anywhere. aaahhh...so wonderful!

Once home, we finished Awana with the Sprouts award night. I helped in the Sprouts class this year and although I liked every one of those thirty plus Sprouts, this one is my favorite:

And now, bring on Summer!

6.5

John is more than six and a half now...and such a classic six year old he is. He is still sweet and impressionable like a little kid but opinionated and thoughtful like a big kid. His favorite activity is still (for sure!) playing. All day. Every day. With whomever is willing to join him. He wears his poor dad out with building marble tracks, throwing darts, bike riding, games of tag, and requests for new coloring pages printed off the computer.

Homeschooling John has become more of a task (rather than just fun and games) as the novelty wears off, but he is progressing well. He's beginning to read and has a good grasp on the phonics concepts we've covered so far. He completed his Awana book early and will be finishing the book review by next week, earning himself a breakfast out with just Dad.

Oh yeah, Dad is popular around here.

I just cook the food.

But at least John truly appreciates good food. He is a rewarding guy to cook and bake for, with frequent exclamations of "oh yeah, I love this food!" and "Mom, this is soooo good" and "Thanks Mom for making this...it's my favorite!"

Watch out John, in a few years I'm going to make you my co-cook!

This incident at the library a few weeks ago still makes me smile:

We were at the library to play and John immediately raced over to a group of kids around his age. Seeing what they were doing, he fell in beside them naturally (kids are great at that!). Pretty soon, he questioned a boy about his age "What's your name? I'm John!"

The other boy said "I'm Mark."

John thought for half a second and then proudly exclaimed "Your name is in the Bible!"

um...that's when I felt awkward for John. The Bible?? I'm imagining Mark thinking. wrong.

Mark said, "And so is your name! Matthew, Mark, Luke and John! We're Mark and John!"

John and Mark wore very happy faces at the realization that they had both made it in the Bible.

And I bet that John still remembers Mark's name; he is good at remembering names and details from people's lives. That will definitely be an asset over the course of his life.

I'm so curious to see who John will be in ten or twenty years. I'm pretty sure he'll still be sensitive to others, that he'll always appreciate a tasty meal, and that he'll still feel a strong bond with his dad. Everything else is a mystery that I'm excited to experience alongside him.

I'm so thankful for John!


These pictures are random but fun ones of him:





I can see John as he'll look as an adult in this picture:



These next few are all with cousins (John is the oldest cousin on both sides of the family):






First roller coaster ride!

David style

Me: David, what song do you want to sing?

David: Jesus Loves the Little Children

Me: What colors should we say? [the colors of children: the original song has red, yellow, black, white and sometimes brown]

David: Red, yellow, white, blue. Aaaaannnndd pink. Oh and CHOCOLATE!

That would be milk chocolate and dark chocolate--or in David's case, white chocolate!

Choir

John and Hava are part of the Joyful Notes choir at our church. They performed this past Sunday...here's the video for grandparents and anyone else who's interested:

spring break, day 1

I waffled in deciding whether we would break for spring. But in considering what is gained in time away from regular dailyness, I knew spring break was a must.

Today was the first day and it was good. Billy and I shooed the kids outside to play in the damp coolness (after yesterday's amazing hail and rain storm) and had time to sit and talk. So refreshing.

This afternoon, the kids had a "movie day" (generally reserved for Saturdays and Sundays) and then we took an hour and a half just to play at the library.

I took advantage of the time at the library to start a new novel, Saving CeeCee Honeycutt, which was recommended by my mother-in-law. How could I resist with that title? (-:

I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home so we went out again and stopped for frozen yogurt afterward. The kids chose their own flavors and toppings and thoroughly enjoyed the treat. (I enjoyed that it was buy one, get one free!)

John and Hava elected to snuggle together in John's big bed for the fourth night in a row. We read aloud a chapter from By the Shores of Silver Lake. John was snoring by the second-to-last page and Hava's eyes were glazing over. I found them later like this:

And then it was Christmas!

I wanted to unpack my Great Grandma Johnson's china--which I was fortunate to inherit when she passed away shortly after Billy and I were married. It has been in boxes for years. I didn't realize how many years until I unpacked it tonight. Oh my, there were so many treasures. I even found four extra everyday plates that I assumed I had broken back at our first apartment (7-8 years ago!).

The Bible doesn't say specifically if people in heaven can "watch" us but my heart was very full and happy as I unpacked Grandma Johnson's china and remembered her and the feasts she served on these very dishes. I think that would make her smile.

It certainly made me grateful for this rich ending to spring break, day 1.

4.5

Havilah,

At four and a half years old, you are leaving your baby ways behind you, giving me glimpses each day of the big kid and young woman you will become. I appreciate your honesty, your affectionate love, and your appetite for knowledge.

I also appreciate your inquisitive mind, though I must confess getting tired of that why? question when there are more than a couple dozen instances in one day. (-: I'm glad you want to know why the moon doesn't have anything orbiting it and why some babies don't have a mom and a dad to take care of them, and why you should not bite your fingernails and why God lets some people not choose him. So keep asking...and I'll try to give you real answers at your level.

I love that you crave time "for just us, Mom." That girl time is precious to me. After all, you're all I've got in the girl department. So many boys around us, but us girls have to stick together.

Hava, your Mom makes mistakes every day. Sometimes so many in one day that I wish we could erase that day from our memory. But here's what I'm working on in my own life: I want to see you (and your brothers) as my mission field, as my chance to honor God right here, right now. That involves getting past myself so it's not natural. I'm failing so often but I keep on trying. Why? Because God your Father loves you and He wants me (and your amazing Daddy) to demonstrate that love tangibly.

This week we're celebrating your first spiritual birthday. In your next year of following Jesus, I want to do a better job of pointing you to Him with your questions, with your weaknesses, and with your adoration. I thank God so often that you have such a big, tender heart toward Him. That you said today "I want to read my Bible every day" and that you soak up the truths in His Word as fast as we can teach you.

You're a precious girl, Hava Joy. I'm so blessed to be your Mom!

P.S. Here are some shots from the last few months that I especially love.

With Grandpa Tapp:

With Papa:

John!?!

You and Sweetie Pie!

My Christmas elf:

in your dance costume:

Playing at the children's museum:

2.5

David Samuel is two and a half! And going on five...in his mind. This boy is "not a baby, Mom. I'm a big boy now!" He's potty training again (after six months off, due to the move I suppose). The five of us are planning a family party when that blessed day arrives when every child is in underpants during the day. Come on David!

David is a voracious talker (and a voracious eater!). He retells me bits of our "Laura & Mary" stories, sometimes even accurately. David also makes up his own stories, such as: Aaaand...my brother had to leave so he went home aaaaaand he didn't have lunch aaaaaand he took a nap aaaaaand he had a diaper aaaaaand he went home again. (yes, he is continuing the imaginary siblings ritual handed down from J & H.)

He corrects table manners in everyone (but himself) on a regular basis. "John, chew with your mouth closed!" is a common one. hhmmm...not sure that's going to make him popular in the long run.

David is quite a dear with his love and affection for his family. Tonight I was tucking the boys in and said "John, say goodnight to your brother and tell him you love him." John said "Goodnight David." To which David insisted "Tell me you love me!!" He became very excited earlier in the day when he saw Gramma Nee's facebook picture: "That's NeeNee! That's NeeNee! Show me NeeNee!"

We're at the magical--and somewhat sad--stage of David leaving my side and joining his siblings in play. He is much more concerned with "my friends" (as he calls J & H) than with what I'm doing. It is lovely to watch them play, dance, protect, and even work out their differences together.

And now for a few pictures of my handsome little guy. (-:

David holding cousin Micah:

All dressed up!


With the secretary of his fan club, Sophie:

This picture is from October when we went to the (amazing!) state fair with our homeschool group. The other kids enjoyed looking at or perhaps even petting the potty bellied pig but David had to get right up in his face to say hello.

It was the same story at the horse farm we visited this month.


It scares me sometimes, how this boy isn't scared of anything. He wanted this picture taken, also at the fair:

One more thing about David at this age: he loves to pray and sing. He told me today: "Mom, God loves me!" I'm so glad he knows that with his sweet childlike faith.