Sunday, July 24, 2011

a part of ourselves

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France

This July. Oh my, this July. Three kids at home and a make-it-myself frame of mind usually fill my days in a tidy, steady way. This July: buying a home, packing the house we've lived in for nearly all of Hava's life, editing projects, Billy working 60-70 hours a week, 100+ degree heat, and my 14-year-old brother Ben staying for nine days. My cup overflows!

Tomorrow or the next day we'll get the call to come get the keys to our new house. Our house. I didn't think it would happen this quickly and that our house would fit us so perfectly. I'm very thankful.

In three weeks, I'll be packing John's backpack for his first day of kindergarten. He's ready; he's excited. I'm getting nervous but know that he needs this...and that he needs me to be chill about it.

It's all good change, but change does bring its own "melancholy." Goodbye old life with all my babies still babies at home, at the same home we've been in for so long. Hello revised life with my oldest not always there, with a new house to make a home. I'm glad for the change. I'm thankful for the change. I'm just a little weary with the change.

August will be insane too. A friend and I agreed this morning that we are looking forward to September. I think by then, the changes will feel just right.

1 comments:

mom said...

This quote expresses what I always experience at "chapter endings." I always look to turn to the next page, but linger to say good bye to what has been. I will have these melancholy moments for sure in the next few months. Isn't it amazing to be at this place already--with John, especially. I'm glad to tell you that what is ahead is just as sweet--because of who you and Billy are and who the Lord is in your lives.
I'm thankful for every chapter of your life--you are the first gift the Lord gave me and you continue to bless me. I'm glad we will have many chapters together. love you so much!

 
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