M-O-M

David loves the letters on our fridge door. He's forgotten that they sing songs if you put them in the matching contraption. Sorting, naming, and rearranging are his favorite letter pastimes. Tonight, he searched through and found some random letters and announced they were M, O, M.

"M - O - M!  M - O - M!" he sang.

I asked, "What does M, O, M spell?" knowing he can spell the names of his family members.

"Jesus!" was his happy reply and he sped off to another activity.

He's right. I mean, he's wrong, but he's right.

I am the voice of Jesus to this child. This child who adamantly denies that he's ever done anything wrong. I am the hands of Jesus to this child. This child who used to be so "tough" and now cries and whines and just generally needs all of the time. I am the love of Jesus to this child. This child who is going to teach me more about mothering (I just know it) then my other two children combined. I am the truth of Jesus to this child. This child who is going to need plenty of correction, prayer, and caution from his parents.

Despite the fact that I don't always love mothering (for it is messy and inconvenient and exhausting every day), it is a high and holy calling.

A calling I asked for. And mourned when it was delayed with our miscarriage. And many times have grieved and mourned for friends when they cannot seem to achieve this sticky spiritual calling as they desire.

I sometimes suck at mothering. I've never actually considered listing my kids on craigslist but I have considered considering it. I usually forget that a house covered in completed puzzles and stacks of books and hundreds of cut-up paper projects and dirty shoes means my happy family lives here. I correct my kids too much and I don't smile at them as often as I should. I get moody and distracted when they're watching. Sadly, some days I'm portraying too much M - O - M and not so much Jesus.

But I'm growing. Trying to consider what agape love is and how it applies to mothering. Knowing that staying connected to the vine is the only way I can continue to grow and bear much fruit--fruit in their lives especially.


[P.S. Dads are just as important--or probably more important for displaying God to their children. My kids are blessed to have their Daddy!]